One week down, 4 to go...

Well, we've made it through a week in the hospital and are looking good for 4 more. I realize some of you may need to get caught up on what I'm talking about. Last Tues Jose and I went in for a prenatal appointment and my blood pressure was showing high. It was 155 over 87 and then 146 over 85. Our doctor didn't really seem that concerned but ordered blood tests. We didn't think anything of it except that they took 5 vials of blood during the test. The next day was my first day of part time work. My plan for work was to go part time for February and then be there as needed in March. Then after the baby was born I would quit completely. I had finished doing training with my team but was going to be there to put together documentation and supervise/correct mistakes. Anyway, I was super excited for part time so that I could get stuff done for the baby, take naps, go for walks, and get stuff in order at home. When I was about to leave, I got a phone call from the doctor. She told me that the tests had come back abnormal. She wanted me to come to the hospital for observation overnight. I got scared because she wanted me to come in immediately and didn't want me to drive myself. I shouldn't have waited until the hospital but I asked for more details on what was going on. She said that the high blood pressure and abnormal tests were a concern in combination. It could be fine but they might need to induce labor. For the record, at the time I thought I was finishing 31 weeks and the baby was suppose to be about 3 lbs... so it was really scary.

We were admitted to labor and delivery and hooked up to a blood pressure cuff, contraction monitor and fetal monitor. They took more blood tests and then we waited. They gave us a betamethasone shot which is a steroid shot given 2x over 48 hours to help develop a baby's lungs that might need to be delivered early. We finally got to talk to both our doctor and a specialist and were caught up with what was going on. I was exibiting signs of pre-elcampsia and also signs of a form a pre-eclamsia called HELLP. At that point the only pre-eclampsia sign was the high blood pressue and my blood test showed elevated enzyme levels. We were really confused that things we so serious and they were thinking induction was a possibility because I was feeling completely fine. What they explained about HELLP syndrome is that a patient can seem completely fine and then their internal organs start breaking down and they start bleeding out. The raised liver enzymes is one of the three indicators of the HELLP syndrome (the other two are the blood cells breaking down and lowered platelets). Now that I seem my blood pressure about 6 times a day, I wish I had paid more attention to what the numbers were the first two days but I honestly can't remember. For the first night, they actually moved us up to the post- and ante - pardom floor and took my vitals through the night.

On Thursday they moved me back down to labor and delivery to be on a fetal monitor all day, get a 24 hours urine test, take a blood test every 12 hours and check my blood pressure every half hour. This move was a little scary because when they took us down they said the reason we were being moved was for magnisium drip. When we got down there my blood pressure was 160/100. That still is the highest is has gotten since I've been here. We stayed in Labor and Delivery Thursday night under observation. Here is what they were looking for - patterns in my blood pressure, protein my urine (the 24 hour test is more accurate that the dips that had been coming up normal), the HELLP signs in my blood, and to make sure the baby was doing okay. The also wanted to administer the second steriod shot and wanted to see the tests once the second shot had been processed by my body (24 hours later). They also did an ultrasound on Thursday. At this point the doctor told us to expect to be there through the weekend and then to expect to be on bed rest (at home) for the rest of the pregnancy.

On Friday we talked to the specialist and our doctor again with all the results. The ultrasound looked great. There was enough amniotic fluid, the placenta looked good (often with pre-eclamsia, the placenta starts looking calcified), and the baby was growing as she should. My blood was still showing the liver as high. The urine test came back out of the normal range for protein. My blood pressure had spiked a couple times. With this information they were confident that they weren't going to have to induce with in the next few days but they still didn't know what my body was doing. At this point I still had no outward symptoms - I wasn't swelling, no headaches - bascially feeling fine. With the threat of induction gone the moved me upstairs (ante/post pardum floor) to continue observation tests. Over the weekend, jose brought me lots of stuff from home and got us a house keeper. We watched some movies and the Superbowl with our friend Jen. The tests stabalized. My blood tests changed from 2x a day to once a day - which was a huge relief because my arms started looking like they belonged to a drug addict. The once a day is definitely allowing them to heal more. My blood pressure test is every 4 hours except when I'm sleeping. Once a day I have an NST (non stress test) to make sure the baby is doing great. If it shows as non-reactive (so far it has turned out that non-reactive meant she was asleep), the do a follow up test - either a BPP or a AFI. Both are ultrasounds. The first makes sure the baby is moving and practicing breathing and kicking. The other measures the amniotic fluid. She's had 2 BPPs and 3 AFIs since she's been here but she has gotten perfect scores on all ofthem - what a good girl. She also HATES the test and kicks and moves away from the monitors - looking forward to meeting the feisty little thing!

Over the weekend I started having some symptoms of the pre-elcampsia. Both evenings, my blood pressure had pretty bad spike (the higher number over 150 and/or the lower number above 90). Around the time they would take the reading, my body would feel really hot (but the temp was fine), I'd get nauseous, dizzy, get a headache, and my vision would get blury. Because of this happening twice over the weekend, the doctor on call on monday (or doctor's partner) scared us a little by saying that it would be good luck to go another week. She had a neonatalogiest talk to me about what happens with a preemie. It was a hard day for me - I think reality was settling in. But, by the end of the day, I realized, I had felt fine all day and hadn't had any symptoms so by Tuesday morning my spirits we way lifted. Tuesday morning was a turning point for me. I stopped crying and being depressed and settled in the positives of my reality. I'm in the best place I can be, the situation could be way worse, and every day the baby says in me is a treasured miracle.

I can't seem to remember when we found out for sure we would be here for the duration. We kept hoping for a while that I would get to go home at some point and maybe be able to start labor naturally. On Tuesday, our doctor told us that even though the tests were stable, I would be here until the baby was born and if I make it to 37 weeks, they will induce. Jose and I have both gotten to the point of settling into our situation and being glad each day that things are the same and that the tests are stable. I would love to think there is still a chance to finish bed rest at home, but the doctors see the hospital best rest as being the thing that is keeping me stable so they probably aren't going to change it. My official diagnosis is mild pre-eclampsia. They basically don't consider me at risk for HELLP anymore but, with the syndrome, the test can show up fine and then take a down turn again, so they feel like they can't know for sure.

That about catches you up to where we are now. My tests are a once-a-day blood test, a talk with the doctor once a day, blood pressure check every 4 hours, and an NST once a day. Once a week I'll have a 24 hour urine test and the dip the urine about 3 times a day. Every couple weeks they'll do an ultrasound to check the baby's growth. Jose comes in the morning to have breakfast with me and be here for the conversation with the doctor. My shower is the best part of the day because it is my longest out-of-bed period so I take my time with it. I have very minor exercises I do in bed. I started a journal and am reading memoirs of a geisha. I just started answering emails and will try to do a little of that and a little blogging each day. I have lots of projects to start if I get bored but I'm not putting any pressure on myself because some days I don't feel like doing anything. I'm hoping to learn to knit, work through some portugese language tapes and learn somemore photoshop skills. And of course I'm watching movies and the olympics. Jose goes home as soon as he can and takes care of the dogs and household stuff. Then he comes here and spends the evening with me. He is such a trooper. I really feel like this is harder on him than me. All the household and baby prep stuff has essentially been left to him in addition to work being as busy as always.

I have been so touched by the outpouring of support from people who have heard what is going on. I've received flowers, little gifts, and lots of emails and phone calls. Thank you to everyone for your support - we really appreciate it. I'll be trying to update the blog daily rather than sending out an email with updates so please check back. (We'll of course send out a big email when the baby is actually born :) )

But, the update for now is that I am in the hospital until I deliver. The best case is to make it to 37 weeks and then they will induce. That is the best case because that is the best chance for me to go home with our little girl. I can't say the situation isn't scary. This last week has been such a rollarcoaster. I've been scared, mad, depressed, resentful.. but I feel like I'm in a good place now. Things feel safe for me and the baby. It sucks to be on bed rest but it won't be that long. The initial shock was a little rough since the pregnancy had been going so smooth. I try to balance the hope of staying for 4 more weeks with the reality that it is a day to day situation and there is the possibility that things could turn the wrong way.

Miss you all and thank you so much for the support!